When trying to find things to fill your time with, instead of getting high or looking for ways to get high, you find all this free time now. Sometimes it can and will make you bored and that’s not a good idea for anyone in recovery. Your brain will immediately start trying to talk you into just one more time, but it is never just one more time. So, I looked up some activities that you can do that will give you somewhat of the same kind of high you would get from substance abuse, not exactly but compatible. Some things are: Swimming, Hiking, coin collecting, or even writing about your journey online or helping others in your community with the same problem you have can definitely compare to that rush you used to get except now your behaviors are legal. For everyone’s sake, please don’t choose alcohol or gambling, unless you are playing at home with fake chips for fun.
Don’t replace one bad habit with another equally bad habit,
I chose coin collecting. I mainly focus on pennies, getting all the oldest ones I can find in change, or rolls from the bank. Sometimes I find good nickels, buffalo nickels, and more.
However, this behavior is a comparable behavior I can do to pass time, stay sober, and have fun.
DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANY OTHER COMPARABLE BEHAVIORS THAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO COMMENT HERE FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT, ANYTHING YOU CAN SHARE IS APPRECIATED AND LOTS OF PEOPLE DEPEND ON WORD OF MOUTH WITH THESE SITUATIONS BECAUSE OF SOCIAL JUDGEMENTS, PROFESSIONALS BAD CALLS ETC…. SO PLEASE SHARE
The Diderot Effect: Why We Want Things We Don’t Need — And What to Do About It
The famous French philosopher Denis Diderot lived nearly his entire life in poverty, but that all changed in 1765.
Diderot was 52 years old and his daughter was about to be married, but he could not afford to provide a dowry. Despite his lack of wealth, Diderot’s name was well-known because he was the co-founder and writer of Encyclopédie, one of the most comprehensive encyclopedias of the time.
When Catherine the Great, the Empress of Russia, heard of Diderot’s financial troubles she offered to buy his library from him for £1000 GBP, which is approximately $50,000 USD in 2015 dollars. Suddenly, Diderot had money to spare.
Shortly after this lucky sale, Diderot acquired a new scarlet robe. That’s when everything went wrong.
Diderot’s scarlet robe was beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that he immediately noticed how out of place it seemed when surrounded by the rest of his common possessions. In his words, there was “no more coordination, no more unity, no more beauty” between his robe and the rest of his items. The philosopher soon felt the urge to buy some new things to match the beauty of his robe.
He replaced his old rug with a new one from Damascus. He decorated his home with beautiful sculptures and a better kitchen table. He bought a new mirror to place above the mantle and his “straw chair was relegated to the antechamber by a leather chair.”
These reactive purchases have become known as the Diderot Effect.
The Diderot Effect states that obtaining a new possession often creates a spiral of consumption which leads you to acquire more new things. As a result, we end up buying things that our previous selves never needed to feel happy or fulfilled.
Like many others, I have fallen victim to the Diderot Effect. I recently bought a new car and I ended up purchasing all sorts of additional things to go inside it. I bought a tire pressure gauge, a car charger for my cell phone, an extra umbrella, a first aid kit, a pocket knife, a flashlight, emergency blankets, and even a seatbelt cutting tool.
Allow me to point out that I owned my previous car for nearly 10 years and at no point did I feel that any of the previously mentioned items were worth purchasing. And yet, after getting my shiny new car, I found myself falling into the same consumption spiral as Diderot.
You can spot similar behaviors in many other areas of life:
You buy a new dress and now you have to get shoes and earrings to match.
You buy a CrossFit membership and soon you’re paying for foam rollers, knee sleeves, wrist wraps, and paleo meal plans.
You buy your kid an American Girl doll and find yourself purchasing more accessories than you ever knew existed for dolls.
You buy a new couch and suddenly you’re questioning the layout of your entire living room. Those chairs? That coffee table? That rug? They all gotta go.
Life has a natural tendency to become filled with more. We are rarely looking to downgrade, to simplify, to eliminate, to reduce. Our natural inclination is always to accumulate, to add, to upgrade, and to build upon.
In the words of sociology professor Juliet Schor, “the pressure to upgrade our stock of stuff is relentlessly unidirectional, always ascending.”
Mastering the Diderot Effect
The Diderot Effect tells us that your life is only going to have more things fighting to get in it, so you need to to understand how to curate, eliminate, and focus on the things that matter.
1. Reduce exposure. Nearly every habit is initiated by a trigger or cue. One of the quickest ways to reduce the power of the Diderot Effect is to avoid the habit triggers that cause it in the first place. Unsubscribe from commercial emails. Call the magazines that send you catalogs and opt out of their mailings. Meet friends at the park rather than the mall. Block your favorite shopping websites using tools like Freedom.
2. Buy items that fit your current system. You don’t have to start from scratch each time you buy something new. When you purchase new clothes, look for items that work well with your current wardrobe. When you upgrade to new electronics, get things that play nicely with your current pieces so you can avoid buying new chargers, adapters, or cables.
3. Set self-imposed limits. Live a carefully constrained life by creating limitations for you to operate within. Juliet Schor provides a great example with this quote…
“Imagine the following. A community group in your town organizes parents to sign a pledge agreeing to spend no more than $50 on athletic shoes for their children. The staff at your child’s day-care center requests a $75 limit on spending for birthday parties. The local school board rallies community support behind a switch to school uniforms. The PTA gets 8o percent of parents to agree to limit their children’s television watching to no more than one hour per day.
Do you wish someone in your community or at your children’s school would take the lead in these or similar efforts? I think millions of American parents do. Television, shoes, clothes, birthday parties, athletic uniforms-these are areas where many parents feel pressured into allowing their children to consume at a level beyond what they think is best, want to spend, or can comfortably afford.”
4. Buy One, Give One. Each time you make a new purchase, give something away. Get a new TV? Give your old one away rather than moving it to another room. The idea is to prevent your number of items from growing. Always be curating your life to include only the things that bring you joy and happiness.
5. Go one month without buying something new. Don’t allow yourself to buy any new items for one month. Instead of buying a new lawn mower, rent one from a neighbor. Get your new shirt from the thrift store rather than the department store. The more we restrict ourselves, the more resourceful we become.
6. Let go of wanting things. There will never be a level where you will be done wanting things. There is always something to upgrade to. Get a new Honda? You can upgrade to a Mercedes. Get a new Mercedes? You can upgrade to a Bentley. Get a new Bentley? You can upgrade to a Ferrari. Get a new Ferrari? Have you thought about buying a private plane? Realize that wanting is just an option your mind provides, not an order you have to follow.
How to Overcome the Consumption Tendency
Our natural tendency is to consume more, not less. Given this tendency, I believe that taking active steps to reduce the flow of unquestioned consumption makes our lives better.
Personally, my goal is not to reduce life to the fewest amount of things, but to fill it with the optimal amount of things. I hope this article will help you consider how to do the same.
A fascinating article and very well written. I absolutely enjoyed reading this, and I think teens and young adults should pay close attention to what the writer is trying to tell us and maybe save yourself some debt in your near future.
Am I failing as a mother? I mean Seriously, when I asked my daughter(age13), to please put two waffles in the toaster. So, she brings in a really hot plate with her shirt covering the side of it, and two extremely crispy, stuck to the plate waffles. Instead of putting them in the toaster, she puts them in the microwave for Three Mins! Lol! I should have taken a pic of her trying to convince me they were edible, as she couldn’t even take a bite of it. I’m not much of a cook, always hated cooking so I don’t do it much, but really daughter? So she is currently making them again the right way, and even though she burnt frozen waffles to a plate, I’m still lucky to have a daughter who loves me enough to make them for me. I love my children!
You don’t have to be a perfect mother, be a mother whose there and loves her children
Please assist this survivor with her No. 2 on List ot her life goals by clicking on her link to her Go-Fund me page and donate whatever you can. She is $1,000.00 behind and she reaches her goal of opening her own Cleaning Business! She’s refusing to give up and we can all admire that!
I mean Seriously, when I asked my daughter(age13), to please put two waffles in the toaster. So, she brings in a really hot plate with her shirt covering the side of it, and two extremely crispy, stuck to the plate waffles. Instead of putting them in the toaster, she puts them in the microwave for Three Mins! Lol! I should have taken a pic of her trying to convince me they were edible, as she couldn’t even take a bite of it. I’m npt much of a xook, always hated cooking so I don’t do it much, but really daughter? So she is currently making them again the right way, and even though she burnt frozen waffles to a plate, I’m still lucky to have a daughter awewt enough to make them for me. I love my children!
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Enjoying this Look like a sleek lady going to the office, the penthouse because of course we the CEO. Lol. I just really love this outfit. It says business, class, style, beauty, but also it’s very youthful and fun. At the same time it says your ready for anything the day has to throw at you…
If you want your children to turn out well,
spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
– Abigail Van Buren
I am currently designing and creating my first big
project, completely at home in my free time, compiled of a huge library of
Video Blogs. These
Videos will eventually all be
tailored specifically to each one of my children, addressed to each one. They
will be of myself, doing such things as wishing each one a happy birthday all
The way up to my youngest child’s
100th Birthday, tips on defeating middle age crisis, advice on making
it through menopause, thoughts that I believe they should know, important info,
And so many more things. The sky is
really the limit with this project, it really can be taken and made from the
ground up to be totally and completely yours. One day, not today obviously,
Your children will be sulking after
a failed marriage, for example, and just because you have passed on doesn’t
mean you can’t still be, they’re for your child as a parent, a guidance, and
Advice to them as if you would if
this were happening to them.
Will this project be Tedious and
Boring at some point? Yes. Will your kids appreciate the value of exactly what
you are creating for them now? Surely Not! Will you regret doing this at
Some point? No Way Jose! When I lost
my father, I was not prepared. No one ever is really. We do the best we can in
preparing our children for that eventuality, but I know all parents
Major worry is about their kids when
they are no longer around. We all wish
we could truly be here every day forever for our kids, but since that isn’t physically
possible, maybe it’s spiritually, mentally,
And Verbally. I can barely remember
my Dad’s Voice, the sound of his laugh, his calming deep singing voice, or even
the way he told me he loved me, it’s been 9 years since he passed, and it’s
More and more fuzzy every day. The
one big regret I have in my life is not recording my dad’s voice, getting more
videos with him, and more photos. Since I have that regret, I set out trying to
think of someway
I could make sure my children could
easily push a button and see my smile and hear my laughter with it on a
particular bad day, or laugh with me as I remember the past and all our good
times, or listen to
Their personal motivation Video I
make specifically for each one of my kids based on their unique personality and
challenges to help get them through days when I can’t physically do that. I don’t
Stop being apart of their lives one
day because of mortality if I can help it. I can do birthdays, holidays, and
even Happy New Years for each year up to 2090 if I need to. I can make sure certain videos are only opened
in case of etc. I can even say watch this video only when you have officially
started Menopause and your feeling depressed because you think you’re getting old.
LoL. I really can just be open, creative, and have fun
With this, and know that in the end,
this ImmortalityMom is absolutely going to be one of my children’s most
precious and priceless gifts.
THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS WHOLE
THING, FREE FREE FREE AND IT’S FREE!